Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
