I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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