Its about making memories worth repressing
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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