It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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