We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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