Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
