Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
