Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
