i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
