I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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