Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
