Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
