its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
