can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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