Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
