we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
