please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
