There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
