im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
