I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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