but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
