To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
my poor anus
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
