DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
