you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
