Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
