I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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