You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
