im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
