I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
