Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
