I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
organizing the empties. That sober.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
