Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
