If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
