Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
