WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
