we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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