I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
