sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I think I died a long time ago.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
