ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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