i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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