Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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