did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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