the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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