hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
