The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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