My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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