We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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