I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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