i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just blew my weed a kiss
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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