i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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