good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
