I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I need a beard to bite.
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