Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
