Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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