I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
